"This product will change people's lives" smiled Ron Bennett, as he leaned confidently back into the soft velour of his executive chair. "Like Sellotape or Vaseline".
He placed his hands behind his head and smiled. "Tell me Marianne, can you imagine a world without Sellotape?" His wife shook her head dejectedly.

A self made entrepreneur, Ron had spent  several years and a considerable sum of money developing his product and was two months away from launching it; this was his first marketing meeting.

"It's definitely got potential" said Marianne "What's the competition like?"

"Not really sure to be honest" replied Ron frowning "I think some blokes from Sheffield are doing something a bit similar and I'm sure I heard about a company from Dundee who have been selling a battery powered version for years."

He chewed absentmindedly on a Scotch egg "What's the point in finding out about people who are doing exactly the same thing as you anyway? I'd rather be thinking about what I'm going to spend all the profits on." He eased off his black slip on shoes and wriggled his toes suggestively, "Like a foot spa."

Marianne sighed. "You need to get some advertising space in newspapers and magazines, there's no point launching this product if you customers don't know what it is or how to get it."

"I'm not a total amateur" snapped Ron. "I've already got full page ads booked in 'Belgian Farmers' Quarterly The Times Education Supplement, The Beano and and underground skateboarding fanzine called "Kick Flip."

"What about the internet?" Marianne continued. "Loads of people do business online these days. You're going to need a website."

"Way ahead of you" he smirked. "My mate Charley's nephew is doing computers at school. I reckon the speccy little geek should stop playing with his mouse and find himself a girlfriend but what do I know? Anyway he told Charley he could put a decent site together for about fifty quid."

Ron tapped his forehead knowingly "Business thinking you see. I reckon any fool can string a few words together so I'll save myself more money by writing all the adverts and stuff myself " He stood up excitedly, scattering crumbs across the floor.

"I've got this idea where we use the word "LOOK" but the Os are like a pair of eyes, brilliant."

The room fell silent.

"Who are you actually trying to sell this too?" asked Marianne. Ron sat down heavily.

"I dunno, businessmen, housewives, anyone who can afford £79.99"

"Have you planned what marketing you're going to do over the next twelve months?" She enquired.

"No, i figured I'd just go with the flow. If orders are down I'll just stick another advert in the local rag."

"Have you considered Public Relations?"

"Why would I want to get my family involved?"

One year later and Ron sat, slumped in his office surrounded by boxes of stock. I"'ve only sold 26" he sobbed. "How could I have got things so wrong?"

Marianne gazed down art him from the doorway where she stood holding a suitcase. "You're and idiot Ron" she explained. "Which is why I'm leaving you to start a new life in the Cayman Islands."

Oh Dear, Ron's been a little foolish and now faces an uncertain future, but what were is elementary marketing mistakes?
Answers on page 16